Amy Schlimmer

You have the right to remain silent. So shut the f*c@ up. You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, we will provide you with the dumbest f#%@ing lawyer on Earth. If you get Johnny Cochrane, I'll kill ya.

History

Amy Schlimmer made her first and only appearance in the asinine And Justice For All. When Goliath was arrested for attempting to rob a jewelry story, he turned down Xanatos's offer to provide a lawyer who actually knew what he was doing, so he could work with the idiot public defender.

Stupidity

Not only was Amy Schlimmer the stupidest attorney ever seen in fiction, she didn't even win the case. Goliath won by breaking the rules of the court, after apprehending the master criminal, Torgo, on his own. Which contradicted the entire premise of the episode.

Amy Schlimmer was never seen again, and here's hoping it stays that way.